Learning to Be More Present With Your Experience
After trauma, it can be difficult to remain connected to what is happening in the present.
Your attention may be pulled toward something that happened in the past, what might happen next, or an internal sense that something is wrong even when you understand intellectually that you are safe.
Mindfulness involves learning to notice what is happening—thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and reactions—with greater awareness and less immediate judgment.
The aim is not to clear your mind or make difficult feelings disappear. It is to develop a different relationship with what you are experiencing so that you have more choice about how you respond.
I provide mindfulness-informed therapy in Washington, DC, as well as secure online therapy throughout Washington, DC, Maryland, Virginia, and Florida.
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What Is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally bringing attention to present-moment experience.
That might mean noticing a thought without immediately accepting it as fact, recognizing an emotion before acting on it, becoming aware of tension in your body, or simply noticing that your attention has moved somewhere else and gently bringing it back.
These practices can help us notice how quickly we move from an experience to a reaction.
Mindfulness can create a little more space between the two.
Mindfulness and Trauma
For people who have experienced trauma, being present is not always straightforward.
Paying attention to emotions or physical sensations can sometimes increase anxiety or bring someone closer to experiences they have learned to avoid or disconnect from.
For this reason, I do not assume that every mindfulness exercise is helpful for every person.
Sometimes mindfulness might involve noticing your breathing or physical sensations. At other times, particularly when someone is prone to becoming overwhelmed or disconnected, it may be more useful to direct attention outward—to sounds in the room, something you can see, or the experience of being in conversation with another person.
The practice needs to fit the person rather than expecting the person to fit the practice.
What Mindfulness Can Look Like in Therapy
Mindfulness does not necessarily mean sitting quietly with your eyes closed and meditating.
In therapy, it might involve:
- Noticing an emotion as it begins to build
- Recognizing a familiar thought without immediately becoming caught up in it
- Paying attention to what happens during a difficult conversation
- Noticing an urge to withdraw, explain, criticize yourself, or react
- Orienting to your surroundings when you begin to feel overwhelmed or disconnected
- Pausing long enough to consider how you want to respond
Often these moments are brief and occur naturally within the conversation.
The purpose is not to become perfectly mindful. It is to become more aware of what is happening while it is happening.
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction
Mindfulness became more widely incorporated into healthcare and psychotherapy through Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center in 1979.
MBSR is a structured eight-week program that incorporates meditation, body awareness, mindful movement, and other mindfulness practices.
I draw from mindfulness principles and practices in my clinical work, although I do not provide the formal eight-week MBSR program.
Mindfulness in individual trauma therapy may look quite different from participating in a structured meditation-based program.
Mindfulness, DBT, and Somatic Experiencing
Mindfulness also appears within several of the approaches I use.
It is a foundational component of DBT, where mindfulness skills can help you become more aware of thoughts, emotions, and urges before responding automatically.
Somatic Experiencing® may also involve paying attention to physical sensations and changes in activation, although its focus and method are different from mindfulness practice.
In my work, mindfulness is therefore less a technique that needs to be practiced in isolation and more a capacity that can support different aspects of therapy.
Mindfulness and Dissociation
Mindfulness requires particular care when someone experiences significant dissociation.
Turning attention inward is not always helpful. For someone who becomes disconnected from their body or surroundings, focusing intensely on internal sensations may sometimes increase discomfort or disconnection.
We may instead begin with brief periods of awareness, orienting to the external environment, or noticing what helps you remain connected to the present.
The aim is not to force yourself to remain with an experience once it has become overwhelming.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to meditate?
No. Meditation is one way of practicing mindfulness, but it is not required.
Much of the mindfulness work I use in therapy happens within ordinary conversation by noticing thoughts, emotions, sensations, and reactions as they occur.
What if I can’t clear my mind?
You don’t need to.
Mindfulness is not about stopping thoughts. Becoming aware that your mind has wandered, become worried, or started criticizing you is itself an act of awareness.
Is mindfulness supposed to make me feel calm?
Not necessarily.
Mindfulness may sometimes be calming, but relaxation is not the goal. The purpose is to notice your experience more clearly without immediately needing to change it.
Can mindfulness be difficult after trauma?
Yes. For some people, focusing inward can initially feel uncomfortable or overwhelming.
Mindfulness practices can be adapted by working in shorter periods, directing attention toward the external environment, or focusing on experiences that feel more manageable.
Getting Started
You do not need any experience with mindfulness or meditation before beginning therapy.
If you find yourself becoming caught up in thoughts, reacting automatically when emotions intensify, or having difficulty remaining present, we can consider whether mindfulness might be useful as part of our work together.
